DOMESTIC ABUSE
What are my Options?
If you decide that you want to talk to someone, you can call a helpline. Women's refuges and support services have helplines especially for women in abusive relationships. Alternatively, pick someone to tell whom you know and trust and feel will listen to you - it may be a friend, a family member or your doctor.
You may feel that you cannot talk to anyone about your situation. However, many women who have been in abusive relationships say that taking the step of talking to someone helped them to cope with the situation and to protect themselves. It is important to tell the person you talk to about your concerns for your own safety. For example, you can ask her or him not to call you at home when your partner is there, if you believe it is not safe.
"Before, I would never talk to anyone. I didn't think that anyone could do anything, so what was the point? Then I went to the refuge and told my story to the refuge worker. She helped me to realise that things can be different and, that there are people who want to help me and my children."
Where can I go from here?
Tell any trusted professional or friend what is happening. They may be able to help you themselves, or they will help you to make contact with a women's domestic abuse service. Domestic abuse is a serious issue and many organisations are committed to supporting women survivors of domestic abuse and their children. Women's refuges and support services are dedicated to helping and supporting women who are in abusive relationships or who are starting an independent life away from an abusive relationship. Almost every county has at least one women's refuge or support service. Other organisations and people can also help, such as your doctor, your local HSE health clinic, the Gardai, community groups, women's groups, your local Citizens Information Centre, Free Legal Aid Clinics or law centres.
What do refuges and support services do?
The main difference between a 'refuge' and a 'support service' is that:
- A refuge provides accommodation to women and children as well as the services listed below.
- A support service provides the services listed below but does not provide accommodation directly.
Some women’s services provide both refuge and support services.
They provide safe breathing space where you can think things through and discuss your options. Most of them offer:
- A listening ear - you can talk to someone about your situation. This may be by a telephone helpline and/or a face-to-face meeting.
- Information - you can get information to help you make decisions or protect yourself.
- A safe place to stay in a hurry - if you need to get away from the abuse they will immediately organise safe accommodation for you and your children. This is most likely to be in a women's refuge. Most women's refuges have facilities for children.
- Outreach Services - you can ask someone to come and meet you in a safe place near you rather than going to the centre. More and more organisations now provide this service.
- Support Groups - you can join a support group or a personal development programme for women in abusive relationships.
- Help with getting other services - you can get help linking with other agencies or organisations. This may be in relation to legal questions, money, accommodation, counselling, your health or schools for your children.
- Court Accompaniment - if you go to court, you can get help with information, preparing yourself for court and any other support you think you may need. A support worker will go to court with you on the day.
How can I contact a refuge or support service?
Most counties have a women's refuge and/or a support service which are listed here . You can contact the refuge or support service nearest to where you live or one that is outside your area. They can all offer you support. Many women first make contact by calling on the phone and some by going directly to the service. Others get in contact through the health board, through the Gardai (for a list of local numbers click here), or by contacting their GP.
