DOMESTIC ABUSE
Your Health
Many women minimise the effects of domestic abuse on their health. You may try to hide your physical injuries or not get medical attention for them. You may be under severe mental and emotional stress, but not recognise that the main cause is your partner's abusive behaviour.
"Abuse takes different forms doesn't it? It doesn't necessarily have to be physical, I mean, verbal abuse can be just as hurtful. It is very hurtful and can take longer to get over. When you're having something repeatedly said to you, like the name calling, then that's how you see yourself..."
Your Mental Health
Domestic abuse causes more than bruises and physical injuries. Women often say that coping with the emotional and mental abuse is the most difficult.
65% of women who experience abuse from a partner reported suffering from depression (Making the Links, 1995). If you feel you are suffering from stress or depression, it can help to talk to someone. The first step may be going to your doctor or calling a helpline. Other options include joining a support group for women in abusive relationships or going to individual counselling.
Your Sexual Health
You do not have to take part in any sexual activity with which you are not comfortable. Your partner has committed the crime of rape if he forces you to have sex with him when you don't want to. Rape is a crime both if you are married and if you are unmarried. Rape within marriage has been a crime in Ireland since 1991. If you are raped or sexually assaulted by your partner, you can contact your nearest Rape Crisis Centre for help.
Your Physical Health
If you are injured by your abuser, seek medical attention unless you believe it is unsafe to do so. Many women delay getting help. This can lead to further health problems in the future. Ask a friend or relative to go with you to the doctor or hospital if it is difficult to go by yourself. If your partner comes with you, try to talk to the nurse or doctor alone to explain about your injuries and get the best help with recovery. Even if you're not thinking of seeking legal protection now, you may change your mind later. The record of your visit to the doctor or hospital may be useful as evidence of the abuse at that stage.
Pregnancy
"..the beating started with the first slap when I was pregnant...before the beatings he pushed me around, left me very bruised but he didn't hit me"
For some women, the abuse starts when they are pregnant. It is important to keep all your appointments with the doctor or hospital when you are pregnant. This can give you some support, and link you in with other services that can help.
Addiction
Some women in abusive relationships turn to alcohol or drugs when they are feeling low. You may do this to block out what's happening. Tranquillisers are prescribed by the doctor for some women. Tranquillisers are medicines used to treat anxiety, depression and insomnia. If you have been on tranquillisers for more than a few months, your doctor should reassess your condition and whether you should continue to use them. There is a risk you will become dependent on them. If you think you may be addicted to alcohol, drugs or medicines and want to get help, contact your doctor, phone a helpline, or join a local support group.
